brave

To put it politely, I'm cautious.  To put it more bluntly, I'm a scaredy-cat.

Airplanes, late night drives, and now even schools bring out worst case scenario images that spend more time then they should, running through my head.   I'm almost always am able to push these not helpful thoughts away and greet the day with cautious opitimism.

My scaredy-pantsiness extends past worst-case-scenarios and into other realms as well.  It's a weakness of mine that I don't take as many risks as I should.  I'm not talking skydiving or riding my bike with out a helmet...please.  More of the I-dont-want-to-try-and-fail risks.  Putting myself out there, if you will.

One thing that's scared the diet coke out of me has been going back to school.  It had always been in the plans but moves, kids, and a decade long gap have made the prospect seem all the more daunting.  Plus, I seem to be regressing to my 18 year old self and don't even know what I want to do anymore.  In my earlier years I was a school teacher, which I enjoyed, but which I'm not so sure I want to go back to anymore.  And I didn't want to start a masters program without being sure.  See my conundrum?  So, I'm being brave, I'm dipping my toes in the sea of higher education by enrolling in a post-baccalaureat program in writing through Berkeley.  It's really one itty-bitty little step for woman, but a giant leap for me and decisions.

And to further bolster my courage I signed up for an Alcatraz Swim race.  1.5 miles in the Bay from Alcatraz to San Francisco.  Swimming I can do.  Cold, sharks, jellyfish, and currents are a little scarier of a prospect.  But I've done hard things before, so I can do scary things as well.

Here's to a year of being brave!